How To Survive Valentine’s Day From a Cynical Point of View

Written by: Lindsey Ethridge

photo by : L. Ethridge Love, love, love! Stores have stocked their shelves with every heart-shaped chocolate and candy you can think of for this Valentine’s Day season.


Oh, what a joyous occasion. It is that beautiful time of year again when the aisles of every store are covered in obnoxious shades of pink and red. It is a wonderful sight to witness: observing how companies produce every piece of candy imaginable in cute little heart shapes.

My favorite pastime on Valentine’s Day is to spend hours upon hours scrolling through everyone’s Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat posts that talk about about how much they love their significant other. I also adore reading how much someone does not care about how they are single on Valentine’s Day.

To show people just how much I care about this delightful holiday, I have decided to make it a little easier for some people and write my tips and tricks on how to survive Valentine’s Day. You’re welcome.

Tip number one: (this is for my single people out there) It is perfectly okay to not have a valentine. The perfect way to accept this fact is to tell everyone that you do not care about having a boyfriend or girlfriend this Valentine’s Day. Some ways to do this is to use social media. Feel free to go to any (or all) social media outlets to post and share to everyone that you are perfectly fine on your own.

One other way would be to bring it up in every possible conversation you have with someone (Valentine’s Day related or not).

Tip number two: If you are spending your Valentine’s Day with that special someone, feel free to make it known to anyone you can. When you are at school, hold hands in the hallway and walk very slow, making sure to block the people behind you from walking around you and your Valentine.

PDA is key to make your relationship known. Make sure to share a hug every time you see your boyfriend/girlfriend. And when you hug do not forget to make the hug uncomfortably long for everyone around. Pretend like the person you are hugging is going off to war or moving to a different country in the next hour.

Tip number three: Do not, I repeat, DO NOT forget to tell everyone about what you received on Valentine’s Day. Social media plays a huge roll in Valentine’s Day. You must post about everything that happens to you on this significant holiday. How else can you make sure everyone you love and hate see how much fun you are having? Feel free to write your Instagram captions in paragraph form because believe me, everyone will read what you have to say.

Valentine’s Day is the most important day of the year. If you follow these tips, it is guaranteed that you will make a lasting impression on this glorious holiday.

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