The Removal of My Innocence: A sarcastic individual’s first-person account of the homecoming dance.

Written by Raine Phillips

IMG_6103
photo by M. Nguyen Taylor Smith reacts to the horror that was the Homecoming dance-floor.

Speaking from a socially-disabled Homecoming attender, I can fairly state that the previous night was one of the most horrific experiences of my life. That evening marked the end of my childhood purity; I was forced to witness such improper means of physical expression among people I can never look at or talk to the same way again.

Poor Raine, unknowing of the future events on Saturday, rushed home from a JV volleyball tournament two hours away in order to prepare for the dance. Though my dress was pure fire, it was uncomfortable to wear for long periods of time, noting I was incapable of taking a deep solid breath.

My dearest concerned mother warned me to be aware of my surroundings, and my former naive self assured her that it was not a strip club I was attending, but a school dance. I could not have been more wrong.

The initial approach was normal, with loud music playing and formally dressed students socializing. Then my innocent eyes were laid upon the center of the gym, and I was met with ungodly sights. Youth were dancing and kissing in the most inappropriate matter, with grinding among grinding left to commence.

In all of my years alive I had not expected such vigilant behavior associated with the people I see in classes almost everyday. Never again will I compare Homecoming to any form of purity or joy. The miserable staff stood wearily at the sidelines, contemplating tearing their eyes from their sockets.

As I departed from the social assemblage, my good friend and I went to a local Taco Bell and then proceeded to watch Disney’s Peter Pan to restore our childhood memories. Unfortunately, being awake for a total of twenty hours did not help us finish the movie, but pass out after the first ten minutes, left to dream of quesadillas and wishing I could return to Neverland.

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